Voice of Experience – Noah’s American problems

Filed under: Opinion |

by Evelyn Couch

In last week’s column, I began describing the story of Noah in America that I had come across. It noted he was asked to build the Ark in six months, and we read about his problems.

Getting wood was another problem. As the story goes, there was a ban on cutting local trees to protect the Spotted Barn Owl.  He told the Lord he tried to convince the environmentalists that he needed the wood to save the owls, but the ASPCA took him to court. In the story, Noah is told he couldn’t build the ark until they had conducted an environmental impact study on the proposal.

It continues that he later told God that he was still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights committee on the issue of who he could hire. The trade unions said he couldn’t use his sons.

To make matters worse, the joke continued, they seized his assets, claiming he is trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

“So, forgive me, Lord. I will need at least another ten years to finish this ark.”

Suddenly, the skies cleared, the sun shone and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you are not going to destroy this world?

“No,” said the Lord, in the joke.  “The government beat me to it.”